As to what is truthfully healthy and what is not. Right and wrong, and the clarity of which, essentially, is supposed to protect us from harm. But what if this is not the case anymore? And I feel that the good cop’s gunna give me up at the end of the day? Then ‘good’ defeats its own purpose.
I spoke to someone new today and he made me realise one thing, I should (too) stop ‘becoming’, and start ‘being’.
So let’s go over me, and what we’ve known of me. Starting with the fact that I am capable of liking a guy just as much as I’d like the fairer gender. I have a boyfriend but our relationship has taught me one important lesson, amongst many others- that at this age, I should not expect more. That I should stray, and let stray… For all our sakes.
I am hurt. I am possibly more heartbroken right now than I have been in a very long time, and this is probably due to the fact that I didn’t really get the opportunity to heal my heart proper before bad luck gave me another hit yet again. And again. And again. A whole string of painful waves. I was drowning and I feel like I still am. I have been drowning for such a long time.
But nobody’s gotta see that. Cause nobody can fix it. I don’t know how. But maybe straying might be a good start, cause it keeps my mind busy, and my heart hibernates in the recovery ward.
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