Jason and I recently had a date morning with Katie Beth. Her one request was to go to iHop. She’s been asking to go forever, and as frugal as we’re trying to be lately, sometimes you have to have some extras. We sat down to look at the menu, and I saw this menu entree which made my heart sink and my stomach sick. This is a brunch item at iHop that comes with steak, two or three eggs, two bacon slices, two sausages (this person opted for skipping the bacon and doubling the sausage), two pancakes, and potatoes. It was somewhere around 12ish dollars I think. (This picture was just one I found online, not anything we ordered.) I sat there just thinking and thinking and got a little teary-eyed. It kind of brought together everything God has been speaking to my heart lately.
Why did it make me sick and my heart drop? My first thougth was Biggest Loser. We had just watched it the night before and they had gone out to eat and were analyzing the nutritional value of restaurant food. I thought Jillian would have a hissy fit if she could see that. It is suprising to me that someone actually orders and eats all of that food in one setting?? Good grief!
But then my immediate follow up thought was, What an African family wouldn’t do for that amount and variety of food! They’d stretch it out over a week if they could - many of them will NEVER eat like that – even spread out over a week or a month!
Now don’t think if I’m out and see a spread like that before you that I’ll be judging you! I’m all for good food and induldge myself too often – let’s not even mention the batch of no bake cookies that have disappeared so quickly at my house. And nobody else at my house really likes them… hmm…
But, God is really working on me with generosity. Our pastor is doing a great series on this right now called Generous Living – my favorite sermon so far has been How to Be Rich. Sit and watch it if you have a few minutes. It really puts into perspective how much we really have.
I’m going to be really honest here. I’ve never been a big giver. We do give regularly to our church for an amount that is sacrificial for our family. But, I wish we were giving more. We do plan to give more as God gives us more, but it’s not going to be skyrocketing anytime soon with saving for an adoption and paying off debt. But, it has been mine and Jason’s goal for our entire marriage to use whatever we have for God’s glory and for ministry purposes.
However in the past when we have gotten things that ask us to donate money – anything that goes above and beyond what we already do (like people going on mission trips, someone adopting, a need that has come up, etc.,) I haven’t even really considered it. We don’t have anything to give. We just don’t. I pray for them, I encourage them, and I support them in other ways if possible. But, I’m usually not giving monetarily. I’ve also been selfish with my time. Three kids and working a couple or three contract jobs plus the areas I serve is not easy to manage. But, could I give a little more of my time? I could.
One thing that’s been huge for me in this adoption process is learning to accept things from others. It’s hard for me. I talked about it here, and I’m still in awe that God is teaching me a lesson through this about receiving. But, God is also teaching me about giving.
Through the sermon series, small group lessons, discussions with friends, and lots of talks with God, my heart is changing. Jason and I are already trying to save every penny we can with the adoption so we are rethinking all that we do and things we can do without that we thought were needs – the “extras” we don’t really need. Which makes me think that I could have been giving at least something all along. But even still, those small sacrifices don’t add up to much, or do they?
I’ve always thought that sending someone a $25 or $50 or $100 check when they were trying to raise tons of money was almost like a slap in the face, a drop in the bucket, mainly useless. But, anything we’ve been given – from $25 to $250 is all the same to us encouragement wise! Obviously the larger amounts get us to our goal quicker, but the fact that someone is willing to remember what we’re doing, believe in it, want to support us, and take the time to sit down, write a check or pull out their check card, and put something behind the support is huge! Equally huge have been people willing to give of their time to come help – like with the garage sale and cleanup. Whether it was one hour or 20 hours, it meant so much to us! I’ve learned that support and prayer is huge, but being willing to back it up with SOMETHING – time or money - is such a blessing to the giver and the receiver!
Because of seeing it on this side, I’m going to try to give more try to be less mindful of what I think I can do and more mindful of what God would have me do. When someone needs even just an hour of my time to help with a project, I’m going to really work on thinking outside of my immediate little world and giving the hour. When someone has a financial need, God prompts our hearts, and He gives us the desire to give, I’m going to work on loosening the vice grip on my wallet with the budget numbers flashing before my eyes and instead praying through what God would have us do – which shouldn’t be the cheapest way out either. Can’t say how much I’ll be doing this while we’re still in the adoption raising money process. But even in a tight budget, there’s always wiggle room.
The fact of the matter is that giving is infectious! Think about it this way. A man is walking down the road and is carrying a huge load on his back. He calls out and asks several people for help; people encourage him and tell him he’s doing a great job, but nobody actually lightens his load. He makes it there, but he used a lot more time and energy than he thought he would. He’s TIRED and discouraged. On his trip back home, he sees someone else with a heavy load calling for help. He wants to help, but you know, he had to carry his own load, he’s tired, and you know what? The next time he has to carry a big load, nobody will probably be there to help him so he better just conserve his energy. Do you see how it’s a cyclical problem? If everyone would give a little, our world could be the place that God desired it to be! 1 John 3:16 – 19 says, “We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.”
My prayer is that God continues to make Jason and I more aware of the wiggle areas in our finances and time. That He will give us wisdom to recognize when He wants us to give and the ways to make that happen. And I’m still in awe that while I think we’re just going through the adoption process that God is teaching us so many other things that I know will carry beyond this one time period. God’s good like that!
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